I've been waiting to post about this until after I spoke with the woman who interviewed me for the last job I applied for.

So basically, I have earnestly been searching for a part-time job for about 4 months and there are very very few to apply for in my field. I think I've applied for about 5 or 6 jobs. I interviewed for a job at the place I used to intern and they called me a few days later to tell me the entire department had been laid off--BUT she knew of an agency looking for a temporary part time case manager (not my thing--I'm not a social worker--but beggars can't be choosers) . So I got an interview there and it was between me and one other woman. After not hearing from them for over a week I sent an email asking what up and she told me that they were choosing the other candidate but that she would call me and let me know why. I thought that was very kind of her b/c I have actually been asked that same question and I was not comfortable enough to tell the candidate why I did not hire them.

Anyway, she called me this afternoon and she was very very nice. She told me that overall the reason I was not hired was because the other candidate was fluent in Spanish (this is the 3rd time I have been the second runner up for that reason) but that she wanted to share with me that in future interviews I should be more energetic. She asked if I had been sick because it seemed like I had low energy. I practically laughed out loud because this was when my morning sickness began and I had to remove my sea-sickness bands for the interview so that I did not look like a weirdo --so I was pretty green and I did have low energy. She also mentioned that there was one question I stunk up the room on and that was when I was asked to describe a time when I've worked with a difficult client. This was very hard for me to answer because 1. I haven't worked in 2 years so specific clients are not fresh in my mind right now. 2. All clients are difficult. That's the nature of our work. I recall pausing FOREVER which I've never done in an interview before and my mind was just a complete blank. I rambled out some answer and when I left the interview I knew I'd bombed that question.But overall, I'm so grateful for her call and I feel like I have a better idea of what to expect in future interviews.

It's really weird to try and dip my toe back in after I've been out so long and now with #2 coming I fear what I worked so hard for in graduate school was for naught. I just don't see any way for me to work again for at least 2 more years. I can't leave my newborn baby with other people--I tried that with Henry and it was a disaster. I was sick with worry and I KNEW I could take better care of him than anyone else -AND-- I missed him like crazy. I couldn't concentrate at work (which is not okay in my line of work--providing therapy) so it wasn't fair to my clients, the employees I was supervising, my employer, myself, or to Henry. I know my/our decision to quit my job was the best decision I/we ever made in our lives. Henry is thriving. He is such a loving, sweet, fun and happy little boy, he learns easily, he is securely attached to us and also comfortable at school away from us. So--I do not regret any of this---but OF COURSE I worry about my career. I know my babies will benefit for a lifetime b/c of our choices and I know this is such a blip in time--I have my whole life to work and I should cherish every moment of this time--and I do--but ....